Feedback jeder Art Hard to say goodbye (Juni 2022)

[Laura Marie]

Just graduated from school a few days ago
I have numerous reasons to be happy, I know
But I’m sitting here with a wet eye
It’s just so hard to say goodbye
 
Tears come streaming down my face
This was a peaceful and friendly place
So many things I’m gonna miss
So grateful I had the chance to experience this
 
I’ve met some wonderful people who are so kind
I’ll keep all these magical moments in mind
I’ll remember all these days that felt great
And all these precious memories I have made
 
Saying goodbye just hurts so hard
As these 4 years were a crucial part
Now I’m gonna pursue my aim
But nothing will ever be the same

 

[Aries]

Hallo Laura,
 
mir gefällt dein sehr schönes und emotionales englisches Gedicht zum Abschied nach einer offenbar positiv verlebten Zeit sehr gut.
 
In einigen Zeilen habe ich persönlich etwas Probleme mit dem Rhythmus deiner Worte.
Da du für alle Kommentare offen bist, hier einige Vorschläge von meiner Seite, die sich aus meiner Sicht flüssiger lesen würden.
 
Z2: I've numerous reasons to be happy, I know
Z4: As it's just so hard to say goodbye
Z8: So grateful I could experience this
Z9: I've met some wonderful people, so kind
Z11: I'll remember these days that felt so great
Z12: And all these precious memories made
Z15: Now I'm gonna pursue my personal aim
 
Grüße,
Aries