Feedback jeder Art Never Be Returned

[Daisy Picoems]

My whole life has been a frown
With my parents being careless
And watching my brother drown
It only could end up a mess
 
Me being alone
With a Fiesta the only thing I own
Life is hard when you're on the ground
And nothing left to keep you bound
 
Now with humans being greedy
Not caring about nature and the needy
They robbed the freedom of a soul
And put him into a windowed bowl
 
Besides why do they have the right
To tell me which drugs are right?
So I've got a bit of that and this
Probably the only thing I'll really miss
 
So I spend a day in the park
And eat my last meal
But really I'm just waiting for dark
He's pretty big, but it's no fear I feel
 
The setting sun makes me glad
When I take my pills
No wonder he went mad
After years of obeying their wills
 
I'll take a bath with Tilly
You don't know what I mean?
Just think about Free Willy
And over the pools edge I lean
 
The water is cold
I start to swim towards him with a grin
For this shit you've got to be bold
It's the whale who will win
 
The next morning my body was found
With Tilikum carrying me around
I now have left this world
And will never be returned

 

[Freiform]

Hallo Daisy,
deine neun Strophen erzählen einen sehr traurigen Lebenslauf, der mit einem Freitod des LI endet und mich betroffen macht.
Ein Freitod löst für das LI keine Probleme und sein Leben hinzugeben, verschließt dem LI nur die Möglichkeit sein Leben selbst in die Hand zu nehmen und zu einem besser zu machen. Jeder Freitod ist einer zu viel und spiegelt das versagen vieler Menschen im Umgang miteinander. Sehr gerne gelesen und reflektiert. 
 
Grüßend Freiform